As a cancer patient, I wonder sometimes if I have become more sensitive to the world around me. Speaking entirely personally, I know I have become far more aware of the divisions in society since being diagnosed.

It sometimes feels like the only venue I can escape from this is the pages of the cancer support networks (and even then occasionally you’ll still come across those who wish to use those pages as a channel for venting their own personal political prejudices). In the cancer support networks (and it is only right that I mention the magnificent Blood Cancer Uncensored site specifically because its is my ‘go to’ source for reassurance, comfort and reliable information), people are kind, non-judgemental and supportive irrespective of who you are or what you are. They actually couldn’t care less – they just want to help you through your cancer journey, wherever it may lead.

This week, I have seen social media posts from people who watched (or maybe didn’t) the Oprah interview (which it seemed to me was entirely one-sided , without any attempt at balance and utterly devoid of empirical evidence) complain bitterly about the lack of humanity from the royal family, and in precisely the same post, make vicious and abusive comments about the royal family.

I have seen stories hailing the fact that Mr Potato Head and Dr Seus will be rebranded to be genderless beside stories of unsolved child abuse claims and international sex trafficking – with more comment about the former than the latter.

I have seen an individual accused of misogyny for suggesting that a curfew for men would be discriminatory and that there are better ways to tackle violence against women.

I have have heard from one of my oldest friends, a Labour Councillor for three decades, who also happens to be Jewish, being told that the independent ECHR report was bought and paid for by Tories and that there was “no place for Jew boys in the Labour movement”, not 18 months after being told by a different Labour person that he was a “Zionist Palestinian child murderer” despite my friend being on record as being critical of Israeli conduct.

I’ve seen folks I know to be intelligent people fall for the tactics of social division so beloved by those on the far left and far right because it meets their own political bias. I will defend to my last breath the right of anyone to hold their opinion, but have we lost the ability to debate with integrity, compassion, courtesy and tolerance? Does everything have to be a fight? You cannot change somebody’s mind by shouting them down.

I’ve seen equally intelligent people repeat old-fashioned stereotypes and lazy tropes – almost all of them abusive, aggressive and morally-repugnant, about both the Labour Party and the Conservative Party – simply to reinforce their own political bigotry – without ever recognising the hypocrisy and irony of that political bigotry.

Where are we going as a species? Are we to define ourselves by what divides us? Are we to continue to pursue this mad scramble to find something that makes us different to everybody else? Are we watching society collapse in on itself fuelled by those who will seek political advantage by creating and exacerbating division and discord?

In my eyes the colour of your skin does not make you different, any more than the colour of your eyes, hair or football team does. Your gender or sexuality do not make you different. Your age does not make you different.

What makes you different in my eyes?

Your kindness. Your compassion. Your desire to use kind words instead of ones which will add to the bitterness and hate. Your desire to help others, not simply think only of yourself. Your willingness to see good in people rather than search for some reason to be offended, no matter how tenuous that may be. Your recognition that sometimes just because you feel offended doesn’t mean that you rationally should be. Your desire to cure hurt and pain rather than create and deliver it. Your desire to be a part of society and join with it rather than be apart from it.

As JFK said “we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air”. We are not so different at all. We are human beings – and that makes us all part of one great community.

It seems ironic that in order replenish my belief that somewhere there is still a human race that can be kind, decent, selfless and compassionate, I find myself seeking comfort in the pages of a support site created to help those who are facing the greatest fight of their lives.

As I see it, it’s a choice. Create community or divide society. I know which I prefer.

Stay strong. Fight hard. Smile lots.