Following previous dental issues I started with urinary tract infections (UTI). Just put it down to age – the menopause does strange things to our waterworks! My attentive GP was always insistent I get immediate treatment to ensure they cleared quickly. In addition to this my energy levels dropped as did my moods.
Antidepressants were his idea and at first helped. Then I hit a brick wall despite them.

As a therapist myself I knew things were affecting my mood and the depression was probably reactive to all that was going on in my world. My children had both emigrated – one to New Zealand, one initially to
Australia. Then my son decided to join my daughter in New Zealand. He had recovered from a very
sad divorce and spent a couple of years in Australia with his new partner before deciding it was too
vast a country. He had planned to come home. However his sister suggested NZ were crying out for
geologists after the 2011 earthquake destroyed so much . So he and his partner moved.

Happy as I was that he had joined his sister albeit on separate islands, the realisation hit me – they were both
11,000 miles away. Life as I knew it, and as I had expectations of faded. They were not going to come
back. Home was now with the Kiwis! I was happy they had both settled lives and decent jobs but I
felt very detached from them despite keeping in touch with FaceTime. Even the time difference
hindered normal communication and the spontaneity went out of our contacts.

Health wise this affected me. It also culminated in a hysterectomy after various gynae problems. I
seemed to sail through surgery, bounced back and was cooking Christmas dinner for my close
friends three days after surgery. Lifting the turkey out of the oven was the only thing I couldn’t
manage! I went back to work in the New Year. That coincided with me embarking on a new
relationship after 15 years on my own. This buoyed my mood and we had a fantastic year full of fun
and excitement.

My daughter came home in the Summer to work as a locus to pay off her student loan. She was between contracts in NZ. Her plan to stay for 6 months but that plan was short lived as she was asked to return early to take up a new job earlier than expected. She went back to Tran as a Consultant Anaesthetist. She decided to marry her Kiwi boyfriend and I went over with my new partner for the wedding – a blissful time and I stayed on to travel both islands alone after the celebrations as my partner could not take as much leave from work.

My daughter had a beautiful home as did my son albeit in different cities. Stability seemed the key
for all of us. My health and new relationship flourished and I thought I could look forward to life of
happiness and health indefinitely. We had planned annual visits to New Zealand and reciprocal visits
by my children to the UK. Life seemed perfect.

To be continued…