Let’s see how this goes then!  Hi, welcome, thanks for coming, I’m El and I’m here to share my cancer story, my recovery and all the bits in between✨cancer shouldn’t be a taboo and neither should it’s recovery, so follow along and let’s normalise talking about all the nooks and crannies of cancer treatment and recovery. 💖

Keep reading to the end of this article to see me being interviewed by Adrian Warnock, the founder of Blood Cancer Uncensored.

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Nice to meet ya 👋🏻 

I got diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in summer last year, after 6 months of horrible chemo and an agonising wait for a PET scan, I officially went into remission at the start of this year. It feels like it’s been a whirlwind ever since, which brings me to making this page and getting some of those whirling thoughts out there, all our experiences are so unique and we all have stories to tell, follow along for mine ✨

This picture is from the day everything just got on top of me.

Around this time a year ago I got my PICC line and had my progress PET scan all on the same day.

I remember this day being so so hard and being so confused as to why.

I had done two cycles of chemo and it had been hell but mentally I was doing fairly good considering my whole world had turned upside down. 

Something about getting a PICC line though just pushed me over the edge. My veins had packed up, nothing really was coming out 🩸and it hurt for anything to go in. I wanted the PICC line just to make things less painful but the idea of having this medical tube coming out of me just made things so real. I felt like I truly couldn’t escape from cancer anymore, it was there, constantly as a reminder on my right arm. 

I remember feeling like it had taken some of my freedom away. I went in the cold sea the day before just because

I knew the choice would be taken away from me soon. And I hated the fact that I had to wear this vacuum plastic covering just to wash myself. 

I cried a lot this day. It just kept pouring out of me. I cried as they explained the procedure, I cried as they did the procedure and I cried as I waited for my PET scan straight after. It was uncontrollable, my crying and, what felt like, my life.

The PICC line was a good thing but it bought up emotions that I hadn’t addressed yet.

Looking back now I think it’s clear that the reality of cancer and cancer treatment can hit you at any point, and it can be confusing but the emotions have to come out somewhere, and it was this day for me. If you’re out there and you’re having this type of day, it’ll pass, you’ll be back on your feet and soldiering on soon, because as we know in the cancer club, that’s all you can do. One foot in front of the other. 

Here is a brief look at my the rest of how the pandemic panned out for me.. 

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The cancer narratives taught me to celebrate a clear scan. Yet I’m here trying to figure out what just happened and how I feel about it. The adrenaline gone and a mess left behind. wondering how on Earth I am going to clean it up.

I met Adrian Warnock in a group for young people with Cancer run by Shine Cancer Support. Here is an interview conversation we filmed together:

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