I have many flaws.

Perhaps some would call my problem a little touch of OCD. I spend a lot of time on something, trying to get it “just right”, and therefore, I have a lot of unfinished projects. I have been disturbed by friends posting on Facebook things like, “Look what we did while on Covid Quarantine! We built a barn with our bare hands!… What have you done?” Blah, blah, blah. Well, first of all, my husband and I worked. From home. And, what I have found is that–when you work from home–you spend more time, well, WORKING.

And I have been frustrated by quarantine, because I did not want to just watch TV when I was not working. My brother once said (pre-Covid!), “I have watched everything on Netflix.” and that really bothered me because I thought, “That’s a lot of TV-watching!” Many of my lady friends were sewing masks. I felt good about that–it is truly a noble cause–but had no desire to join in. I have tried to make the mundane exciting whilst in quarantine. I did some mending, I cleaned out a closet, I painted rocks, I knitted, and I started gluing seashells we have collected from beaches to a plastic base with the intention of creating a decorative stepping stone for one of my gardens. A new friend told me about “paint by number kits”, and I ran out to Amazon and ordered one. But none of these things are technically all done….yet…

But my husband, he’s another story. He has been working like 50 hours a week (his work station is upstairs, mine is downstairs). But he has a lot of energy in his off time. He has walked the dogs pretty much every day since this social distancing thing started (they are now at half their original weight). He has really been tackling projects around the house, and some of them only things that can be done in the summer months that he usually waits until August to start. We might get a new barn after all if his ambition continues! Well, perhaps not a barn (we are not farmers)…more like a garden shed to hold the lawnmower and garden things…shaped like a barn. With a cupola. I would like that very much.

Why do I mention this? Because I’ve been looking at things in different way since the quarantine started and we were all banished to our little islands, so to speak. And I still do the things I must do to run a household. The first month or so, I think I fell into a kind of depression. I kept thinking, “Why clean this or do that? No one is going to see it, plus tomorrow is going to be much like today and I can do it then.” It was tough on the mind. And being more or less stuck with the same person (who is working a completely different job then me), is difficult. I kept running away and coming up with “essential” errands that only I could run. Thankfully, the weather finally began to improve and I was able to open up the windows and get outside for walks, even if just around the house to “get away”.

Meanwhile, I did laundry, like I always do. I like to wash and fold; however, I am deficient in putting it away (sigh!). At the same time, my husband started running a lot on the treadmill and trying to get back in shape. He would take his sweaty socks off and throw them in the laundry basket inside out. I had a hard time with that because I didn’t want to touch the dirty socks to right them. I started washing and drying them inside out. Then we come to the matching of them.

I like to match socks. I think this is something my mother ingrained in me. Unmatched socks are set aside, with the hope that their mate will one day re-appear (or be used for sock monkeys, or puppets, or dusting cloths). In the summer of 2018 when my husband’s four cousins were staying with us, I had to lighten up on my “every sock must match” policy. Four additional people add a lot of laundry to the workload and also seven year old children could care less about matched socks. I also learned that an unmatched pair of socks was cool amidst your peers. Strange indeed!

As I was matching socks in my laundry area a week or so ago, I felt righteous indignation. I thought, “How dare he think I should right all of these athletic socks? Who does he think I am?” The first couple of pairs went into the basket matched, but inside out. “That will teach him!”

It is miraculous how the Lord works. He is patient and kind and caring and knows I am a tough nut to crack. He meets me where I am at. He reaches into our world through everyday stuff and even little things like, well, socks! The next day, I was back on the laundry job, and while I was matching the socks, I had a heart change. I started turning them right-side out. And it felt good to do this for my husband. In a small way, it is a sign that I love him.

Will he even notice this small token of affection? It does not matter. God knows about my change of heart. He is molding me and shaping me into His character a little each day, like a sculptor chipping away at the formless rock….and making a masterpiece. The artist studies the rock, thinking, “Hmmm…what shall this rock become?” and he or she starts to chisel away, in small, yet steady strokes.

For as long as it takes, creating masterpiece out of mess.

That is what He does. He isn’t concerned whether or not I become an executive leader of my company, or conductor of the orchestra, or top of my class, or even a perfect housekeeper, He just wants me to be me, reflecting Him in all I do.

And I desire an active part in this. I am an equal participant. I willingly read His word, His love story to humankind we call the Bible, attend faithfully a Bible based church, and I strive to serve Him by living to encourage others. He allows me to do this from my home, on my phone or laptop. He allows me to drive freely to places and spend time with people, just listening to their stories. He allows me to do this in my job, when I speak to people who have suffered unimaginable loss and take a moment to hear their pain.

He whispers in my ear, “Tell them about me. Show them kindness like they will only see from my Beloved God Child.”

I get up every day and make the conscious decision to be who He has made me to be. For me, this is what this life is about.

Leaving people a small piece of me, a large fragment of HOPE.

How is He shaping you?