Seven years ago today, I was diagnosed with a form of Blood Cancer that has tried to destroy my identity and define who I am. Today, on my personal D-Day, I can report I have been slowly learning to defy those definitions and cling onto hope. My identity is not merely a diseased and damaged individual. I am still in an ongoing battle to live beyond such labels, and it is far from easy.

This article was originally posted on my Patheos blog.

The blood cancer diagnosis and several others that have followed all made a good attempt at defining my life. Sickness destroyed my career as I was no longer able to work and damaged so many relationships. This was partly because I didn’t always respond “well” to the challenges, and partly because some people just couldn’t go the distance with me as I was dealing with chronic sickness.

This day seven years ago followed a dreadful 22 days of sickness wondering what was wrong. I had become unwell on 28 April with a nasty pneumonia that didn’t respond well to treatment and had been caused by the damage to my immune system that blood cancer had done. I had two diagnoses by this point but several more would follow later including Autonomic Dysfunction, and POTS. I am under around 15 different consultants and spend a lot of time dealing with my many health conditions.

I used to describe my illnesses as like a tsunami that destroyed everything in their path. And this destruction did make me question everything. My identity before sickness was caught up in what I did. I was a Human Doing not a Human Being. I was a doctor, a dad, a husband, a preacher, an author, part of a church leadership team. Even today I am severely limited in all those fields by the effect my diagnoses have on me, particularly by the severe fatigue which is a daily companion. Over the years I have had to realise that my identity and value lie in being a Human Being and not in being able to attempt to save the world!

In an article I wrote last year “Six Years On: Life After a Cancer Diagnosis,” I reflect on my story up to that point, and the numerous challenges I have faced, both emotionally and physically. I also explained how my faith itself was challenged and yet has been a cornerstone in coping with this illness, providing me with comfort and strength.

I am thankful that, whilst at times I felt totally alone, it wasn’t true. There have been faithful friends and family members who have walked this journey with me. And right now I am firmly planted in my new home, new church, and new marriage.

The fact I am still alive, and have not lost my faith, is testament to the grace of God and the comfort that comes from those who will stand with those who are suffering. I hope my life serves as an encouraging message to others facing similar battles, and that we will all understand that while diagnoses can be life-altering, they do not have to be life-defining.

READ MORE

Hope in Suffering

The Tyranny of the Positive

Six years on – Life after a cancer diagnosis

How to Reduce Divorce Stigma in Church

Safe Haven – when God leads you to a new peaceful place. Colchester here I come.

Why I’ve joined a Grace Baptist church

Covid caution and God’s grace

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/adrianwarnock?s=July+2023

Adrian on BBC’s Songs of Praise – Finding God in Times of Turmoil

Compassion fatigue, the Saviour complex, and Benevolent detachment